KUALA LUMPUR – The Malaysian government has imposed a ban on all foreign-registered vehicles on roads within 50 kilometres of Malaysia’s northern and southern borders.
The move was aimed at preventing abuse of the tax dollars used to build the roads.
Explained Malaysian Transportation Minister, Tun Hussein Moore On, “We must ensure that foreigners do not leech off the Malaysian taxpayer monies used to build and maintain these roads.”
Singaporeans are naturally outraged by the ban. Mrs Sue Kia, a housewife who often goes across the causeway to shop, complained, “How am I supposed to take advantage of the cheaper groceries in JB? Does the Malaysian government expect us to walk? Or perhaps they want us to take bus and train – but does Malaysia even have a public transport system?”
Malaysians, on the whole, are pleased with the measure. Said Mr Cheet Mani, a JB taxi driver, “My daily earnings have increased by 300% since the ban. Unlike locals, Singaporeans do not know the usual taxi fares and are easier to con – I once charged a Singaporean fifty ringgit for a ten minute journey!”
But not all Malaysians are happy. Said a dejected Mr Kri Minal, “I used to earn a living by bashing in the windscreens of Singaporean cars parked in carparks here and stealing any handbags or wallets left inside them. I earned an average of three thousand ringgit per month like this – even after deducting the amount I pay to the police to look the other way. But now I have lost my ricebowl.”
Nevertheless, the Transportation Minister promised that this would only be a temporary measure. “We are only implementing this ban for the time being while we seek alternative methods to prevent Singaporeans from profiting from Malaysian tax money. We are currently exploring a few high-tech solutions that will solve our problems.
“For example, we are looking into replacing the street lights in the border states with new ones that need to be activated with MyKad before they come on (MyKad is the name of the Malaysian NRIC; it comes with microchip features). This will ensure that foreigners do not enjoy street lighting that is paid for by Malaysian taxpayers.
“After all, they have their Horsburgh lighthouse on their beloved Pulau Batu Putih, right? They should use that to light their way.”
