SINGAPORE – Property prices in western Singapore have fallen precipitously in the past few weeks following official statements negatively describing the “free-wheeling” West, where the economy is allegedly crippled by protests while the social fabric is torn asunder by racial and religious violence that occur regularly due to untrammelled free speech rights.
Said a housewife, Mrs Gully Belle, “Wah… I didn’t know the West was so dangerous… At first my family was thinking of buying a new flat in Choa Chu Kang, but now I hear the government say about how unstable the West is, we don’t want to buy already.”
A Malay schoolteacher, Mr Naaiv, also said, “After hearing that the West was rife with racial and religious conflict spurred by unrestricted hate speech, I turned down an offer to work at Bukit Buttock Secondary School. I was afraid that I would face discrimination and abuse there.”
Serious News understands that a lack of staff and student enrolment has resulted in the closure of a few schools in the West, further driving down property prices in the region.
Those currently staying in the West, however, had completely different views.
Complained Mr Wes Turner, “If you listened to the Government’s distorted rhetoric, you would think that the West is inhabited by a mass of lawless barbarians who regularly wrestle and throw stones at each other, or that the people here have to rummage through rubbish to live due to an economy that has disintegrated under the strain of protests and demonstrations.
“The reality is that Westerners live happy, fulfilled and free lives. Not only do we enjoy material comfort and adequate leisure, we also live in a stable and harmonious environment made possible not by propagandistic government campaigns or state-imposed sanctions, but by mature, thinking adults who freely choose to act in a civilised manner as dignified human beings.”
When contacted about the issue, the Government said, “It is absurd to think that the property slump in western Singapore was engendered by our comments regarding the defects of a liberal democratic system.
“In any case, the prices will rebound once we build a new casino there.”
